Sink or swim
To sink or swim is a rather apt phrase reflecting my last month or so. My sanity has well and truly been tested, and my anxiety has been off the chart. You see, I own a boat, a sailing yacht. Moody 333, for those in the know and if you know, you know where this personal blog of resilience and resolve is heading!
With the dream of remote working, clad in just a bikini whilst floating around the med, hubby handing me a glass of something yummy, if the influencers you see on social media can, then so can I.
Alas, this little dream will have to wait a little longer.
Being a 2-hour drive away from home, Tempo (said yacht's name) has been in and out of the water over the last few months more than the ins & outs in the hokey cokey!
She has had a leak (not the best on a boat with grand dreams), engine trouble and numerous other faults. We have been desperate to bring her around closer to home, not just for the travel time it takes us to get to her to work on her but also for the expense, fuel, boat storage, overnight stays, food, etc.
The time finally came for us to try again; the crew arrived, and provisions were stocked. We headed down the river towards the open sea! We could see it, taste it and almost touch it!
But….. just a stone's throw from the big wide blue and luckily near one of the last mooring buoys, the head gasket on the engine went. With some quick thinking and an excellent crew, we were able to tie off on the mooring buoy and await rescue from the Harbour Master.
Tempo being towed by the Harbour Master
Why am I telling you all of this on my coaching blog? Well, it's a long-winded metaphor for life.
Things don't always go to plan. No amount of manifesting my dream of warm bikini-clad yachting can fix Tempo's engine; only resilience, money (owning a boat really is like standing under a cold shower tearing up £50 notes just for the fun of it), and heaps of PMA (positive mental attitude) will bring it about.
Let me tell you my top tips for resilience in the moment!
Using my breath
There is a reason wellbeing professionals, including coaches like myself, talk about the power of the breath. It works!
In the moment of stress, panic and anxiety, use your breath.
When your out-breaths are longer and more forceful than your in-breaths, your heart rate slows and your body calms.
I'm not saying that consciously breathing like this will melt all your troubles away, and you'll be zen. However, you'll find that your mind fog will lift a little, allow you to think easier, and support you in finding a solution in the interim.
It helped me spot a mooring buoy and gave us time to consider our options.
Sleep on it
Sleep on it - yes, I really do mean that.
The knee-jerk reaction to my boating crisis was to panic; I wanted to sink her, write the loss off and plant my feet firmly on dry land. Panic is entirely normal, especially in the immediate aftermath of the crisis - be it work-based or personal; overwhelm and panic can cause you to make drastic decisions not for the best.
Make a plan
After a slightly uncomfortable night on the buoy, a rescue tow and lots of help from the boat yard, I realised Tempo didn't leak, was cosy, an opportunity to learn and spend time in nature. We need to put a plan in place, break down the steps and start working on them.
Planning & goal setting comes in many forms. It can be helpful to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, both the future you want and don't want. From there, you can work back to now, breaking down the steps to achieve your goals. I like to do this outdoors with different objects, such as pebbles and leaves, so I can take up as much space as I want. It works just as well with a pen and paper! Have a brainstorm, then map it out. Keep the steps small!
By being clear on the future, I don't want (sinking (or selling) poor Tempo!), it is much easier to be clear on the future you want and to be motivated to take the steps towards it.
Conclusion
Tempo is now tucked up (temporarily) in the boat yard; after considering our options, an engine rebuild is underway. We are taking this opportunity to make some other upgrades and get some under-the-waterline jobs done; all made more accessible with her being out of the water.
Using my breath certainly helped me act clearly in the moment. Making no knee-jerk reactions and allowing some space by sleeping on it helped to remove me from the situation a little and allow me to reflect. Planning and goal setting helped us consider our options, break down the bigger picture into small steps and move things forward quickly.
Sink or swim? We'll swim thanks!